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At this stage in our studies, are you starting to recognize how the way you relate to others expresses fleshly energy and passion? Discuss and illustrate what you are discovering.
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I am recognizing that I definitely live out of my fleshly energy and passion. A way to illustrate this is this past Valentine’s Day. I longed for my husband to show me love by buying me things and taking me out to eat. That is the way I feel loved-that he has done things for me. That he values me. My husband put little notes all around the house telling me loving things. He took me out for breakfast. He bought me an orchid. It was all about ME and my needs. I didn’t do a single thing for him. I am so needy that I required this to feel deeply loved. As I write this I am so ashamed. I realize that Valentine’s Day is so superficial. It’s all about love above the water line. It has nothing to do with honoring and glorifying God in our love for one another. Lord, help me to have that love that is NOT self- centered but is rather God-centered. Help me to have Trinitarian love with You, my husband and myself.
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Yes. I am recognizing my self-centeredness in the wonderful deeds that I do for others. They are unselfish acts which at the core meet my own self-need in subtle ways.
Or, maybe obvious ways, after listening to Dr. Crabb’s lecture. This lecture has given me some profound statements, facts to think about:
1- Because we’re created in the image of God, we have the capacity to receive love and to give love, as the Trinity is in relationship and love.
2- Because we are fallen, and have turned away from God, our capacity to receive love is not filled, and it becomes a desperate longing for love that is needy and demanding.When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are in a relationship with God. If we are filled with God’s love, Love itself, we’re no longer needy.
We’ve been given the love that our souls long for in our relationship with God.
The problem is, we keep turning from God, essentially telling Him, we’re not interested in the love that He provides. Our spouse, our children, our jobs, etc… will do a fine job of it.
But, the truth is, when we turn from God, our heart is never satisfied, and the passion that drives us is the self-centered desire to meet our inner self-need. -
It is definitely easier to understand these truths in my mind and another thing to believe in my soul. This leads me to how I can see in myself that I often relate through my intellect; to stay in my head so I don’t have to feel. When I don’t allow myself to feel, whether consciously or unconsciously, I don’t have to feel the pain of being hurt. Growing up it was not safe to feel any vulnerability because I was then ridiculed, shamed, or left alone to deal with the strong emotions. I did not know how to “process” pain and subsequently, I learned to bury it.
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Yes, I am becoming more aware of the words and expressions I use to let people know they do not need to struggle alone. Looking into my interior world has humbled me and I continue to consider my own faults in the light of trying to serve a holy Savior. I have also learned to recognize how to address my inadequacies and bringing them to the Lord. Prayerfully asking for wisdom has enabled me to say the right word at the correct moment. I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit can guide, convict and encourage as I seek to live this life for His glory. It is a good reminder that no matter how old we get, we can always learn something the Bible, other believers and during trying times.
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At the beginning of this lecture it was very revealing as Dr Crabb described his motivations for marriage at age 21. I can relate to the underlying selfishness he describes in his motivations to marry his wife. I dont have to think very hard to recognize several similar self centered motivations that were present when I married my own wife. It was way more about me than I would have ever wanted to admit at the time. What we show the world and even convince ourselves of is that our motivations are noble and self-less but underneath are selfish needs to feel good about ourselves and get what we want. The Pharisees thought they were doing their best to please God but Jesus pointed out how they looked good on the outside but inside were all kinds of selfish motivations for their good behavior. “We keep the rules, arent we good people” The real motivations were greed and self indulgence. Matt 23:25
