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What tends to be your goal in a conflict with your spouse? Has anything in this lesson changed your perspective on conflict?
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Conflict happens when both individuals try to be the victor in the problem by themselves, when they both must win together. The teaching regarding the two opposing attorneys is an excellent example of how awful it is for married couples to fight to win alone as an individual, instead of a win for their marriage.
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While in conflict with my spouse my goal typically tends to be to win. Even become hurtful to my husband. This lesson is very helpful.
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Many times my goal in a conflict is to be understood and to have my heart heard. I have learned from this lesson that I need to be able to change how I approach conflict. I also need to be aware and thoughtful towards my husband’s circumstances in the moment. I ultimately want to draw my husband closer to becoming a believer in Jesus by the way I respond to our conflicts. I also don’t want to intentionally do things to “get even” because of what I perceive as unfairness. My goal should be to diffuse conflict and in doing so help make my husband feel valued and respected.
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Honestly, my goal in a conflict situation with my wife is generally to get my point of view across and sometimes to prove that I am right. However, I have learned through this first lesson that its not always about winning an argument but understanding how the other person feels.
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I think my goal is to win the argument and to be understood. I can see how this is not a great goal.
